Friday, December 23, 2005

THE CULPRIT
The fact is, No One Can See Mardy Collins. Its not an opinion. Its a fact. A fact is a truth. A truth is believed. Mardy Collins isn't quit the truth... but... neither is Paul Pierce. The truth is best described as this man...

Or in my opinion, this man...


The fact is there can be two truths... truth can be an opinion. Sight isn't an opinion, sight is a sense, and no one can see Mardy Collins.

However, this year Mardy has begun to come back in focus. His stats are down across the board. He has looked human and in some cases, dare I say, average! I dare not say, I take that back, he has looked just ok, for Mardy of course. While watching some highlights of my main man #25 I realized there has to be an explanation to this. Since no one can see Mardy C, it cannot be Mardy's fault that his numbers are down, can it? Well, I think not! In fact I have discovered the reason to the statline dip... there is a single culprit and it's his brand that was actually eluded to already in this post... LADIES AND GENTLEMAN THE REASON BEHIND MARDY'S LACK OF PRODUCTION THIS SEASON ISN'T YOUR IMPROVED VISION, NOR IS IT A PHILANTHROPY PROJECT BY MISTER COLLINS FOR THE REST OF THE NCAA BASKETBALL PLAYERS... THE REASON IS....

Thats right. Jumpman. Not Michael Jordan the player. Michael Jordan the CEO. Not the Jordan series of sneakers. The creative team surrounding the dub-zero's. (See the sneaker atop the post)

Mardy has worn the black and red dub-zero's in every game he has played this season and this needs to stop. NOW! Mardy! Someone is out to sabotage you! The sneakers are bringing you down! Please, for the love of god go back to the days of the cherry and white team shoe... I know you want people to be able to see you and your a nice guy who doesn't want to hurt defenders feelings, and coaches, and staff but MARDY... we need you! And in order for Mardy to be Mardy I'm gonna have to respectfully ask that you stop wearing the cursed dub-zero's...

Its Christmas Mardy! Grant every Owl fans wish and drop 40 on Villanova wearing the Temple team Nikes. It will save us, it will save you! I leave you with a picture of the old days, fists in the air... peep the feet, and say no more.

41 Comments:

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